So a timeshare salesman dies and is standing at the pearly gates waiting to enter heaven. In front of him in line are a congressman and a lawyer.
The congressman walks up to St Peter and St Peter says, “You lied to people and misled the masses for your entire life. You thought of no one but yourself so unfortunately because of your ways on earth, I have no option but to send you to hell”. St peter snaps his fingers and poof the congressman is sent to hell.
Next, up walks the lawyer, “You also were dishonest and unfaithful, you hurt the ones who trusted you most so again I have no option but to send you to hell". St Peter again snaps his fingers and poof the lawyer is sent to hell.
The timeshare salesman not feeling too good about his odds steps up to St. Perter and says "So, where do I go?"
“Well," says St. Perter looking at the book. "It says here that you sold timeshare to people your entire life. You gave people choices for their vacation dollars so its only fair that you get a choice as well. You can choose to go to heaven or you can choose to go to hell but first I'm going to show you your options." St Peter snapped his fingers and instantly they were in hell.
Hell was beautiful; nothing like he expected. He saw all his friends from earth and they were having a party, eating steak, and drinking wine, laughing, having a good time telling stories about earth. It was the best time he ever had. Soon St Peter says “Well, time's up”. He snaps his fingers and instantly they are in heaven.
Heaven is gorgeous and everyone is on their knees worshiping God, singing praises, and praying for forgiveness over and over. He really feels loved and contented. “Time's up.” Says St. Peter as he snaps his fingers transporting them instantly back to the pearly gates. "So which is it?" St Peter asks.
"Well, I never thought I'd ever say this but I think I'm going to go with hell. I had so much fun there."
"So be it." Says St Peter as he snaps his finger sending him to hell.
The timeshare salesman is chained to hot stone, he's surrounded by fire and brimstone , blood curdling screams.
"Hey, there must be a mistake!" The timeshare salesman screams up to St. Peter. "What is this?! This isn't the same as last time I was here!"
St. Peter calls back down to to timeshare salesman, "I never promised you that."
The timeshare salesman looks wide-eyed at the devil who just laughs and says, "You must have taken the tour."